Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
