Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
