he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
