how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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