you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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