I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
