Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize