Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
