I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I want a musical about memes.
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