summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
being pregnant is like rehab
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize