He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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