I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
