i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it's like heaven, but drunker
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
