no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize