Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
