dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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