Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
