Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
