dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize