it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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