Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
