Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
