Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
