Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
