I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize