Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
