i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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