no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize