I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize