i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
