I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
