Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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