Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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