I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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