Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
