Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
