Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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