I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
