big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize