i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize