He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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