You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
