butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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