is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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