brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
