This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
