Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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