brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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