Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
