if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
