Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you still have your period?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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