OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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