we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
