D3 body, D1 cock
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just high enough for therapy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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