Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
