OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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