if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I stole a fireplace last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
