Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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