my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
