This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
