His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
