I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
