so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
