You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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